Chapter 2

I wanted to be like the Sea, full of life in it and calm at the surface. But I was like a wildfire—uncontrolled and destructive. I grew up in a middle-class family. Both of my parents were in the teaching profession. They knew everything exactly, what had to be done, how it had to be done. I never liked that atmosphere in my home. I always used to question everything and try to figure it out by myself. Maybe I never wanted to believe anything. So, I never believed in God. I never bowed down in any temple wholeheartedly. I was more into the sweets that were being offered. But, as an innocent, stupid thought, I sometimes wished to be God so I could have all those offerings. Yes, I was a dreamer back then. I used to enjoy the pleasures of imagination. I had robbed many banks, kissed many girls, and lived many lives—all in my dreams. I could dream for hours and enjoy it, but I never compared it to my reality and complained about it. Maybe I was not expecting it to be my truth, I knew it was my fantasies and I loved every bit of them.

They know all the answers perfectly.

A flawless division between what is wrong and what is right.

Long conversations about figures and enormous success weights.

And they appear to be pleased about it.

I say it's baloney.

How could they not ask themselves what they truly are?

The immense intensity of seeking has never happened to them. Is that so?

Everybody believes they are here to enjoy the circus, so they never play the joker.

 It is an easy way out, though.

But The Joker, I say, lives while those miserable losers fantasize and die.